A New Year

New Year's Eve... NEVER a fun night for me, though I try.

My mother passed away over a decade ago but her Birthday is NYE and so every year, I am saddest on that day. I do watch the ball drop and this year, I made her signature dish to remind me of her and celebrate her a little, but it makes me sad to know soon I will have spent more NYE's, more years, without her than I got to have with her. I miss her every single day but on NYE, I am just reminded of how much of my life she did not get to be a part of. Birthdays, my miscarriages, my marriage, my leap to become an author. I am not a mother, other than to my furbabies, and I don't know if I ever will be, but I know a mother is like nothing and no one else. There is just something about that love--for most of us, at least, I ache for those with shitty or selfish or absentee mothers--that will never be touched again. I do hope your New Year was fun and festive and you were not weighed down with sadness. It is a new year, a new start, a new hope for better things than the last year. I have lots and lots planned for this coming year, so many exciting stories I want to share with you, and I cannot wait!

I hope you all have a wonderful 2022 with me!