The other day I stepped out of my comfort zone and posted a video on TikTok. Now, I have posted many videos there since I started my Author Acct in October, but none of which feature ME. I am not so good at showing my face. Not in photos and not in videos. I am not hiding, I am just super shy. Anxious and awkward too.
But I had heard this song, a country song called Doin' This and it really did resonate with me. I rambled in the video, as I often do, and got a bit sidetracked but I hopefully made my point. And my point is very simple: no matter what, I would be doing this. I would be writing.
When I was about 10 or 12, I started writing poetry. Short, long, fun or hopeful and dark and sad. My who life, I read all the time, books, poetry collections, anything I could get my hands on. This is when I wrote my first story though. Just a story about a girl basketball team making it to the championships. I let a friend read it and the rest is history.
After finding that I could put a story together and someone might want to read it, I never stopped. I wrote articles for my school newspaper, short stories, and fanfiction. My BFF would come over for sleepovers during junior high and high school and we would sit at my computer and I would read the stories to her. Those are some of my favorite memories. I also had a website back when creating websites was a cool thing to do. I shared stories there and even co-wrote with a friend of mine. It felt like I was doing just what I should be doing.
When I started writing back in 2016, I had no clue what I was doing. I just decided to take a chance on myself. Take a chance on my writing. I still sometimes do not know what I am doing, but I figure things out as I go along. When I published my first book and it actually had people reading, I was astounded. I was excited. I saw my name--well, penname lol--up on amazon and I could cry.
Doing this--it means everything to me. I do it because I love it, because I feel as if it was truly what I was born to do.
I am not ashamed of what I write. I love the stories I write. I like to read stories like the ones I write. I hate that anyone would make us feel shameful about what we enjoy to read--or what we enjoy writing.
While I am no big success, and struggle for sales and views, I won't quit. I will never be rich or famous from this and as I remarked in my video, I don't want to be. I mean, I would love to live off my writing so I could just keep writing. But people knowing my name whatever, that would never be a goal of mine.
This song I mentioned, it basically talks about what he would be doing if he was not famous for his music. He says, "I would be doin' this." And that is why I made the video and this post too. I would always be doing this. No matter what, I would be writing. Creating stories and characters and sharing them with someone.
This is all I ever wanted to do, and to get to do it at all, it is such a blessing.
I would be doing this, even if I was not doing this with Amazon release, pre-orders and release parties, takeovers and newsletters, or promos and all the moving parts that come with being an author. I would always be writing and wanting to share my stories. Maybe just my BFF, but someone would be reading my stories, right?
If you want to watch my video--and maybe follow me on TikTok, see the awkwardness below!